PAYNEful - the site where humour goes to die, the repository of all things by Sean Patrick Payne
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The Hitman’s Tale – 0.00 Prologue

The Hitman

The smell of meat sizzling on a hot pan wafted out of the open doorway, an inviting smell for everyone but the man stood nearby harbouring a hangover. He leant over and stroked a tabby cat who had come over to investigate the smell in the hopes of scrounging up…

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February 11, 2014 at 6:00 pm | The Hitman's Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 2.03 Clandestine Meetings

Doug's New (Old) Arm

Doug and Blaise don’t even need to know, reasoned Gratin as he hovered over the rooftops, peering occasionally into the streets below to find his bearings. The untrained acolytes of the Galactic Finders had been fairly active in their hunt for Gratin in Galmanoc, but he’d quickly noted that they…

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February 1, 2014 at 2:48 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 2.02 Galmanoc

Joking Around

The man returned at Gratin’s request and formally introduced himself as Gunner Manford. Gunner Manford then proceeded to run some tests on Doug, checking his blood pressure, reflexes, how responsive his pupils were and so on. Doug allowed himself to be poked and prodded, having been used to routine medical…

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January 29, 2014 at 7:39 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 2.01 Doug Wakes Up

“Where we are now, what we are about to embark on… everything, every decision and action, is critical in making sure that we take the risks that we are about to take.” Doug sprang awake. His hand – his only hand – lashed out at the empty space before him…

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December 29, 2013 at 8:31 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 1.20 Escape from Abaddon

The pilot had returned with Jenkins the Binder, but he wasn’t in any state to bind. Someone had shot him through both palms, and the pilot had tied his sash around Jenkins’ hands to help stop the bleeding. “It was that b-bitch you sent us after, with the guy in…

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November 17, 2013 at 12:00 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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