Let’s Start the Year (Again) Part 4: An Image Dump of the Wasteland of My Desktop
If you thought my physical space was cluttered, you should take a look at my computer desktop.
I tend to save everything to the desktop and then, once every few months, go through everything and either archive it to a hard drive or consign it to the digital recycle bin. There is usually a folder marked “random images” where I save items I want to share but aren’t worth a blog post of their own (I guess this is why Tumblr is so popular?).
As the final part of this “clean slate” series of posts, I might as well get my digital space cleared out while I am tidying my physical space. Here’s all the interesting stuff off my desktop…
Joker Makes a Good Point
Last year there was some horrific flooding in my neck of the woods, but the national news didn’t seem to really care at all. At least, not until the Thames flooded a portion of London. A friend of mine posted a comment in the style of Heath Ledger’s Joker from the Dark Knight, and I just had to produce a proper image…
BEEFCAKE
Facebook has some odd adverts in its sidebar sometimes, and some are just downright ludicrous. This one in particular prompted me to produce another pic…
Charming Mouse is Handy
I once, much to my girlfriend’s chagrin, knocked over one of the delicate china mice she has had since childhood. Luckily, the break was clean and was repaired easily with super glue. The best thing to come out of it was the image below, which is almost like all three mice crowding around the severed limb to share a giggle.
eBay Has the Best Deals
Back when Guardians of the Galaxy came out, the post-credits sequence of baby Groot dancing was a hit. Typical of the internet, someone tried selling a stick on eBay that looked a little bit like baby Groot, the funniest part being the small print that explained that the plant pot was not included. eBay’s automated advertising resulted in the following appearing on my Facebook account (I just added the caption).
Not the Catwoman We Deserve, but the One We Need Right Now
I really don’t know much about this one, it was just an advert that appeared in my Facebook sidebar that was a bit WTF.
Everyone Loses Their Minds over Kevin Smith Shaving
I follow Kevin Smith (you might know him as Silent Bob from various films like Clerks, Dogma or the eponymous Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) online via his podcasts and, occasionally, his Twitter account. He is known for being quite a big bloke, smoking weed and having a beard. Last year he shaved it off temporarily for a film role and made most of the entertainment industry news in the process. The following was my response (incidentally, the bearded Joker image was from a comic book Kevin Smith had been the writer for).
Never Get Dressed in the Dark
I’m a fairly boring guy when it comes to clothing, my idea of comfy shoes are ultra-conservative Clarks leather shoes. I owned two identical pairs, albeit one pair was in brown for the summer. One day in work, I looked down and discovered the following…
Also someone wittily pointed out that apparently I have a car like those in the Flintstones.
Mozilla Firefox Is so out of Touch It Hurts
I like Firefox a lot, even though I acknowledge that as a browser it hogs computer resources and handles Flash about as well as an alcoholic with the DT’s trying to sew a delicate thread into a straight line. Occasionally when I open up Firefox their splash page makes me laugh out loud as they attempt to compete with Google and Microsoft with informative snippets about their policies. Check out the following images – click them to see them in full.
The Best Mistranslated Lyric Ever
There’s an online translator called the “Bad Translator” which translates text several times between languages in an automated version of Chinese whispers (is it racist to use that term still?). Having developed a “translator” myself, I appreciate a good translator and really liked what I was given when I plugged in the chorus to the Proclaimer’s “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)“.
All Hitman, All the Time
I realise that my outpourings and efforts tend to follow a theme, depending on what games I’m playing on at the time and what films I’ve seen, that sort of thing. It all came together at one point last year when I realised that my home page was dedicated to hit men.
Christopher Eccleston Has a Symmetrical Face
I, like many, started following Doctor Who after the relaunch of the new series with Chris Eccleston. I found a Paint-Shop Pro file on my computer where, for some bizarre reason, I had taken a screenshot of a picture the BBC posted to Facebook and then proceeded to take halves of Chris Eccleston’s to flip and match them. Take a look at the different combinations below, the second image is particularly misleading on the eye.
The Dorkly Quiz
A website I follow for geek stuff is Dorkly.com, who occasionally run a “versus” quiz that takes a list of things and asks you to vote on which items you prefer, presenting you a top five once you run out. For example, they have ran “what it your favourite super hero film” before and, unsurprisingly, Batman took four of the top five (the most unusual thing was a Marvel film came second).
Below is a gallery of various “versus” situations I found funny, as well as some of the outcomes.
You can see my Ash vs. Joker picture here.
An Unhealthy Office is a Happy Office
A poster appeared in the kitchen in the office where I work advocating quitting smoking, which is actually a cause I believe in – I have never taken up smoking, and that’s not to say I haven’t had the odd cigarette or cigar here or there. However, I cannot get on my high-horse about it as I make up for the lack of tar in my lungs with the amount of whiskey that gets filtered through my liver. I sympathise with the plight of the cigarette addict, so I cheekily made a poster to accompany the other one:
In case you can’t read it:
- In 1 day, you feel more relaxed.
- In 5 days, you’re hooked.
- In 8 days you’ve made a bunch of new friends (all who smoke outside)
- In 2 months you’ve moved on to pipe smoking and looking like a badass
- In 6 months you’ve moved on to ganja
- Within 20 years, you die (but you die smiling as it was a bloody good time!)
The best part was, within a day or two my poster had a friend courtesy of another work colleague…
How Not to Rob a Bank (Using Playmobil)
There’s a garden centre where I semi-regularly go to pick up food for the pet bird (birds, plural, until recently). I take great joy, along with my girlfriend, at browsing the toy department while desperately trying to look like we’re looking for a toy for a child relative and that I’m not the sort of man who buys children’s playthings.
Until this year there used to be a big display case in that toy department showing the most farcical bank robbery I’ve ever seen…
Finally, a Word on Politics
That is all.
Post by Sean Patrick Payne+ | March 5, 2015 at 11:50 pm | Batman, Real Life | No comment
Tags: Bane, Batman, Catwoman, Doctor Who, Firefox, funny images, geekgasm, Groot, Hitman, Jaws is the best henchman ever, Kevin Smith, memes, oh goody let's talk about real life for a change, Playmobil, the Joker, translator