Wakka Wakka! A Final Fantasy X Rant
Right. FFX. *Rolls up sleeves*
It’s been at least half a year since I touched it, and the next time I will shall probably be in about two years time when I forget why I had got bored of it. Final Fantasy 10 is a fantastic game, a deeply moving story with complex characters that fully endows the player with not only a satisfying warmth of being a part of something rich with culture, having obviously been the fruits off the labours of many hours of fine work.
That’s the bare facts put down, so now I can make with the whining.
Unlike most, I don’t care about the voice acting. The fact that I can no longer name my character ‘froglips’ or ‘haxxor’ does not worry me, beacuse the voice acting was very well done. So well done, in fact, that Tidus’ voice completely manages to make me want to strangle something just by talking. No offence to whoever did the voice, it’s not his fault that he sounds like a whiny teenager. In the case of Tidus, the whole character lends a disposition towards the voice which at time is frankly unbearable. Imagine Squall from Final Fantasy VIII1 after having half his brain switched with that of his best mate Zell2. Now give him a plotline as a sports star who gets sucked up into some distant world…hang on, wasn’t that the plot-line from Flash Gordon?
There’s the other thing. You could rename Tidus. Not once did anyone else say his name during the entire game. It’s GTA3 syndrome, where the main protagonist’s name is apparently ‘Hey you!’3.
The journey, from one end of the world to the other, is shown via a Indiana Jones-esque map. I love Indiana Jones, but there’s a time and a place and sometimes in a Final Fantasy game I like to go for a stroll somewhere away from the story, or get a car. But there’s no world map, so suddenly it’s a case of GO WHERE YOU’RE TOLD. The whole game seems so much more cramped without an oversized man strolling across a miniature world, and so there was a distinct lack of “Oh my god look at the size of that huge monster strolling across the planet. I’ve got to fight that? I’m going to die”.
Character development is very complex, each character (apart from Rikku, who has ‘stapled on afterthought’ written all over her) has a long history you can either track or ignore in the game. Unfortunately, half the cast is apparently just out of college. I know this is just because of the voice acting, as most FF games feature those just above legal drinking age. However, combined with the very linear path strolling across countryside and through towns, the whole thing feels like “Dude, Where’s My Zanarkand?”.
The marble system of levelling up was inspired, and I enjoyed it. Up until I had to fight Sin and I suddenly wished that I had made Auron actually do something other than backtrack because his sword did less damage than the ball-throwing Jamaican stereotype Wakka.
Blitzball. I had to sack half the team and buy in foreigners, so by the end it was like managing Arsenal football club (you’ll laugh like hell at that one if you’re in the UK). I’m not complaining, I just wish that I could’ve found a replacement for the goalie. Besides, my tactics basically involve this:
Me (coach): Give the ball to Tidus.
Wakka: Hey, how ab-
Me: Give the goddamn ball to Tidus, who’ll then use Jecht shot. He managed it eight times last round, so let’s double it, people!
Learning another language is difficult and arduous, so why I’d want to “learn” Al Bhed by collecting books is beyond me. It’s a lot funnier to talk to them with no understanding of their language whatsoever:
Tidus: Hey, how are you?
Al Bhedian: rengjknerhngoiheroigh! nfejghrjoknhg? kf[p3ri94t34jtpo! vrlknglkngfoi4glkn43gh4njghh45og35ngjoiin5tnu5ghioh!
Tidus: Oh, that’s good.
And dark Aeons? Why the hell do Squaresoft seem to think that foreign gamers like battling extra hard kill-you-by-breathing-on-you bosses? It as bad enough that they added Ruby and Diamond weapon to the US/EU release of FFVII, let alone putting ambushes along the road in FFX. All I wanted to do was cross the Thunder Plains on foot, and I got a face full of insta-death for my troubles!
Collecting ultimate weapons is a pain in the arse. Find obscure mirror, find obscure plant in obscure location, do impossible task and then you get the weapon. I am not going to avoid lightning 200 or so times just so Goth lady Lulu can press a more powerful cuddly toy against her tits.
I’ve ran out of stuff to rant about. No doubt I’ll think of something else later. Nevertheless, despite my little whines and problems, FF10 is a fantastic game.
FF10-2? Pfft…snnnkkk hahahahahaha! Puh-leez.
And Wakka, throwing your ball at people is just immature. Grow up.
Post by Sean Patrick Payne+ | April 14, 2006 at 11:06 pm | Reviews, Video Games | No comment
Tags: bitching about video games, Brian Blessed, FFX, Final Fantasy, game review, RPG, Square-Enix