Posts written by Sean Patrick Payne

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The PAYNEful Portfolio – Facebook Doesn’t Know How to Talk to Its Users

Facebook Thumbs Down

Facebook did a little thing this week which caused me some concern, as it showed that the people behind Facebook either don’t know or don’t care about how they get in touch with their user base. Facebook (unfortunately) plays a significant role in my life. I was press-ganged by a…

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November 29, 2014 at 11:15 am | Articles, Opinion Pieces, Portfolio and Work, Technology | No comment

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How to Improve the Sainsbury’s Christmas 2014 TV Advert

Otto and his bar of chocolate.

Disclaimer: before we get started, I’d just like to say that this article is in no way mocking the first world war – a great many people died in that horrible war and taught a lot of people about fighting for what you believe in by sacrificing all they had…

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November 22, 2014 at 12:44 pm | Christmas, Vaguely Topical | No comment

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So I Built a Fake French Accent Translator

Chief Inspector Clouseau

Some weekends I get a little bit distracted with silly little projects. I’ve spent a good chunk of the last weekend on such an endeavour: the Authentic Silly French Accent Translator. Right about now you’re probably wondering why I would go to such ludicrous lengths to build an interface that…

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November 16, 2014 at 10:01 pm | Projects, Technology | 4 comments

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How to Improve the John Lewis Christmas 2014 TV Advert

Ahhh.

So the British public is agog at the latest heart-warming bit of commercial advertising pumped out by John Lewis in a bid to win the war of sales via Christmas cuteness. Have you seen it? When I first watched this, my heart grew ten sizes that day. Or that might…

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November 8, 2014 at 2:05 pm | Christmas, Vaguely Topical | No comment

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The PAYNEful PodSPLOSION #06 – Creepypastaganza

PAYNEful Podcast 06

It’s a funny thing, Halloween. It’s an American tradition that, through copious amounts of exported television, has embraced our dank British shores and seems to have taken root like some sort of gnarled evil tree. Personally, I actually hate scary things, and yet I have a contradictory interest in the…

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October 31, 2014 at 9:00 pm | Halloween, Podcasts, The PAYNEful podSPLOSION | No comment

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Pulling the Plug | Creepypasta

Item Batch #562

I don’t play video games anymore. Some people grow out of video games, saying it’s kids stuff. I used to know a guy who was the complete opposite; his name was Jerry and he was into video games in a big way. He had this collection of video games that…

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October 31, 2014 at 12:00 am | Halloween, Video Games | No comment

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Murdered: Soul Suspect – as Lifeless as the Ghost That Stars in It

Murdered: Soul Suspect

Note: I actually wrote this about three weeks ago, but through laziness it’s been sat in my draft pile for a while. I figure that October is a good month to publish an article about a game that concerns ghosts, possession and demons. I’m sat here watching Dan Bull’s rap…

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October 11, 2014 at 12:04 pm | Reviews, Video Games | No comment

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Spammers Say the Creepiest Things

CReePyB0t wiLL EaT yOUr SOul

Last year I posited that, amongst all the terrible Engrish and awful crap that spambots generated, some of it was genuinely poetic. Since then I’ve noticed another trend from spambots – I’ve received emails and I’ve seen comments that look like they’ve been scraped completely out of context from a…

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October 4, 2014 at 12:00 pm | Spammers, Technology | No comment

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The PAYNEful PodSPLOSION #05 – A Tale of Two Controversies

PAYNEful Podcast 05

It’s been a while since we last rambled into a microphone, and since we last did that the video game community collectively shat itself inside-out via Twitter. This time we discuss #GamerGate (obligatory hashtag included) while firmly rooted to our fence, and if I see one more person write “you…

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September 20, 2014 at 10:58 am | Podcasts, The PAYNEful podSPLOSION, Vaguely Topical | No comment

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I Did the ALS/MND Ice Bucket Challenge (in Style)

Ice Bucket Challenge

I’ll be honest, I’m not the most charitable of people. As a person who’s been bullied by “chuggers” (charity muggers1) into signing up to a £10 a month scheme at least twice, I’m always a little sceptical about parting from my cash. It’s very easy to be swayed by all…

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August 31, 2014 at 12:48 pm | Real Life, Vaguely Topical | No comment

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The PAYNEful Portfolio - examples of my work and articles written about web development The Silly French Accent Translator The Two Doctors' Dimensional Temporal World Tour webcomic series The PAYNEful blogSPLOSION - Random musings by Sean Gromit Unleashed Paint Your Own Gromits